Bound by Song (Cauld Ane Series) Page 28

Grace bit her lip. “I broke up with him.”

  Charlotte gasped. “What? Why?”

  “He’s just so…so, I don’t know, overbearing, I guess. Like, you know when you read those romance books and they’re all alpha male and the woman has to bend to his will because she just can’t deal with life if he’s not in it?”

  Charlotte raised an eyebrow. “And that’s a bad thing?”

  “Chuck!” Grace snapped. “Yes, it’s a bad thing. We don’t have the same value system, and he treats me like I’m the little woman who can’t survive without his money, his guidance, and his support, but refuses to share some of his past with me because he wants to “protect” me from it. He wants to fix everything, and he’s always all up in my grill and stuff.”

  Charlotte giggled. “Oh, honey, you have never been “street.”

  Grace groaned and slid onto one of the tall stools next to the island. “He’s so freakin’ overwhelming. I can’t handle it.”

  Charlotte pushed a glass of milk toward her and returned the carton to the fridge. “So let me get this straight. One of the richest, most gorgeous men on earth wants to fix your troubles, pay for everything, and take care of you, and you have a problem with that?”

  “When you say it like that, you make me sound like an ingrate.”

  “Well, aren’t you being just a bit of a dramakazi about the whole thing?”

  Grace shrugged and bit into a cookie. “I’m having a difficult time reconciling the man the media portrays him to be and the one who wants to marry me—”

  “He asked you to marry him?” Charlotte interrupted.

  Grace nodded. “But I can’t marry him, Chuck.”

  “Why not?”

  Grace squeezed her eyes shut. “I just told you!”

  “Grace,” Charlotte said with a sigh. “You’re being a little ridiculous, you realize that, right?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know.” Grace dropped her face into her hands. “I can’t think straight.”

  “Can I give you my two cents?”

  “No,” Grace grumbled.

  Charlotte giggled. “Okay, you’ll get it for free, then.”

  Grace sat up and took another bite of her cookie.

  “I have never, and I do mean never ever, seen you this upset over a boy. You dated Trey for God knows how long…far too long, in my opinion…but you never really fell for him, you know? You’ve never fallen for any of them.” Charlotte raised an eyebrow. “You never let yourself fully go, and I think you’re freaking out because you can’t control Max.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? I am not trying to control him.”

  “You’re not?”

  Grace stared at her, annoyed that Charlotte said nothing…like she always did. Just sat there smiling at her, eating her stupid cookie while Grace processed the information. “How am I trying to control him?”

  “I’m not saying that you are, necessarily. I do know you, though, and you’ve always been the one to distance yourself before you get hurt. The guy obviously adores you”—Charlotte held her hands up to stop Grace’s retort—“which doesn’t mean you should fall for his pretty words, but I do think you should give him a chance to grow and change if that’s what he’s willing to do.”

  “He should want to do that for himself, not for me.”

  “How do you know he doesn’t?” Charlotte challenged. “I mean, how do you know this is all about you?”

  “Stop being so logical.”

  Charlotte chuckled. “That’s my job. I might be the actress, but lady, you out drama me every time.”

  “You out drama me every time,” Grace mimicked in a little girl voice.

  “Now that you’re off the ledge, what else is going on?”

  Grace cleared their dishes and loaded them into the dishwasher. “Maggie starts chemo next week and Spencer and I are waiting to see if we’re a match for a bone marrow transplant.”

  “So everyone’s in the hurry-up-and-wait cycle of life.”

  Grace sighed. “Exactly. I hate it.”

  Charlotte smiled. “Who doesn’t?”

  “Are you staying for dinner?”

  “I promised mom I’d be home by six.” She glanced at her watch. “Which is in twenty minutes. Crap. I should go. Movie tomorrow?”

  “Why not? I have no job, no boyfriend, no life. It’ll probably be a good distraction.”

  Charlotte laughed and hugged her. “I have missed you.”

  Grace couldn’t help but smile. “Me too.”

  Charlotte swung her purse over her shoulder and grabbed her keys. “Okay, I’m off. We can chat later if you climb back up on the ledge.”

  “Ha, ha,” Grace droned, and walked her friend to the door. “Stick to acting…comedy would be a failing endeavor.”

  Charlotte grinned and pulled open the door…and stalled. “Well, hi,” she said.

  “Hello,” Max said, his sexy voice washing over Grace. “I’m Max.”

  “Yes, I know,” Charlotte said, and glanced back at Grace.

  Grace bit her lip, not wanting to admit how happy she was to see him.

  “I’m Charlotte.” Charlotte shook his hand and then stepped outside. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Nice to meet you as well,” Max said.

  “Sorry, I have to run. Bye, Gary. I won’t hold my breath on the movie tomorrow.”

  “Whatever!” Grace retorted as Charlotte unlocked her car door. “’Bye.” Grace waved and watched Charlotte drive off and then allowed herself to look at Max.

  He smiled. “Hi.”

  “Hi.”

  “I’m not stalking you,” Max rushed to say. “You left your cell phone at the nurse’s station.”

  “Oh.” Grace wrinkled her nose and took the phone from him. “Thanks.”

  “I’ll leave you then,” he said, and turned to go.

  “Wait,” she said before she could stop herself.

  Max faced her again, but didn’t close the distance between them. Lord above, he was gorgeous. She saw his mouth lift in a slight smile and scowled. “Stop it,” she snapped.

  He raised his hands in surrender. “Sorry.”

  She closed her eyes briefly and then sighed. “Come inside, Max. No point in you standing out there grinning like an idiot.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CONTROLLING HIS EXPRESSION, Max walked inside and slipped his hands in his pockets. Grace realized this was his go-to stance when he wanted to give her space. How had she not noticed that before?

  “I’m worried about you, love,” he said, after several tense moments. “But I really will leave you alone if you want me to.”

  She swallowed and shook her head.

  “What can I do, Grace?”

  She raised her head. “Can we just talk?”

  “Of course we can. Do you want to go somewhere private?”

  “No one’s home,” Grace said. “We can talk here.”

  She led him back to the family room and sat on the sofa, her back against the arm and her feet under her bottom. Max sat on the other end, facing her. “That was Charlotte, hmm?”

  Grace nodded.

  “She seems very nice.”

  Grace nodded again. “When she’s not being a pain in the butt, she’s just about perfect.”

  “What constitutes her being a pain in the butt?”

  “Nothing I want to get into right this second.” She itched to touch him, but kept her hands clasped in her lap. “Where did you go after the hospital?”

  He shifted so he was facing her better. “I went to speak with Josh.”

  “Who’s Josh?”

  “Your pastor, Josh.”

  Grace’s mouth dropped open. “You did? Were you there this entire time?”

  “Aye. We talked for almost two hours.”

  “Why did you meet with him?”

  “Because I wanted to know you better. I’ve been meeting with him since I met you. Once or twice a week. Sometimes over Skipper or phone, and occasionally in
person.” Max settled his arm over the back of the sofa. “To know what you believe and why you believe it.”

  Grace forced the tears away. “You have?”

  He nodded. “I love you, Grace. I will do anything for you, but I also recognize that you don’t want to be responsible for the changes I choose to make.”

  “Ya think?”

  He smiled and settled his head in the palm of his hand. “I just need you to talk to me, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere…I can’t.”

  She took a deep breath. “I have to admit, I find it difficult to believe that you’ll be satisfied being saddled with me for a long time.”

  “Baby, don’t say that. I’d be lucky to have you.”

  “It’s just you’ve slept with a lot of women, and I don’t know how I could possibly compete. I don’t really even know why me…I mean, you’ve explained it, but it just doesn’t seem real. Plus, whenever you’re upset, you seem to want to solve it by trying to get me into bed.”

  “You picked up on that, eh?”

  “How could I not?” she pointed out. “I just don’t understand how sex helps you. I mean, I want you to be attracted to me, obviously, but I want to make sure I’m more than just some kind of a distraction. Am I making sense?”

  “Yes.” Max took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “For me, sex kept the demons at bay, but when I met you, I didn’t have that outlet available to me anymore, so I’m having to face them. I imagine I’m going to have to start dealing with them.”

  “Your sister.”

  “One of a few, aye.”

  “Tell me.” Grace waited, hoping he’d elaborate instead of shutting down.

  He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It was Christmas 1879. It was my fault.”

  Grace linked her fingers with his. “Why do you think that?”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “I do want to know, baby. I want to know you,” she pressed. “Good and bad.”

  He leaned forward. “One kiss.”

  She rolled her eyes. “And you’ll tell me everything?”

  “Aye.”

  She kissed him, realizing quickly that she’d missed him beyond reason.

  “Me too, love,” he said, after he broke the kiss.

  “I love you, Max. Nothing you tell me is going to change that.”

  He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Just before Christmas, the young people of the Cauld Ane were invited to stay overnight at the castle after the Christmas ball, and Connall thought that would be a great time for us to take Moira down to the stables. She loved horses, but rarely got to visit the King’s home, as our parents were very protective. Con had just bought a couple of new horses and Moira had asked to see them.” Max closed his eyes briefly and then stared at his hands. “I promised Mum that Niall and I would watch over her, so she spoke with my father and they gave Moira permission to stay overnight also. She was supposed to wait until Connall and I came to get her after the ball to escort her to the stables, but from what I understand, she was anxious to go, and Kinnon offered to walk with her, so she went. After that the story becomes fuzzy. Kinnon was high and didn’t remember where she’d gone after they went to the stables. He passed out in one of the empty stalls. I found Moira. In the carriage house next to the stables…” He stalled, anguish in the tight set of his features.

  Grace shifted so her knees were touching his thigh, and laid her palm over his heart. “Go on, Max. Tell me.”

  “She’d been raped, strangled, and her left ear had been cut off.”

  Grace gasped, forcing the tears away. “Oh, Max, I’m so sorry.”

  “When I found her, I couldn’t get her to wake up. If I’d gotten there even five minutes earlier, I could have healed her. Could have caught and killed the bastard who did it, but I wasn’t there. I was too busy chatting up the chambermaid who’d cornered me on my way out. Connall forced me away from Moira so that our security could gather evidence, but without DNA, there wasn’t proof. I later learned that a neighbor had paid the maid to seduce me, and I suspect he was the one who’d killed her, but up until a few years ago, I hadn’t been sure.”

  “So, he was never put on trial?” Grace asked.

  Max shook his head. “Not him, no. One of the locals copped to the murder at the time, and gave enough information to make everyone believe he knew more than he should, but it never sat well with Kade…or me, really.”

  “How come?”

  “The man who confessed wasn’t right in the head, but he’d never hurt anyone before. He was just the crazy old man who lived in a hut at the edge of the Gunnach land. No one was afraid of him.”

  “Then why did he confess?”

  “We don’t know. Well, we didn’t until recently. We found out that he’d been coerced into confessing.”

  Grace raised an eyebrow. “What happened to him?”

  “The Council had to make a choice, so he was hung and everyone went on with their lives. Very sad, but I suppose it was some comfort that the old man had no family. He didn’t leave anyone behind.”

  “What did you mean when you said you didn’t know until recently? Did you find something new?”

  “About three years ago, Kinnon confessed that the neighbor, Abbot Martin, had promised to give him drugs if he could lure Moira down to the stables. He took her down there, left her with Martin, and then went and got high, the bloody bastard.” Max’s expression went dark for a second, scaring Grace, but then he relaxed his expression and kissed her palm.

  Grace cupped his face and made him look at her. “Tell me everything. All of it, even if it’s horrible.”

  “I confronted Abbot a couple of years ago.”

  “And?”

  Max shook his head. “I’ll not put these images in your head, love.”

  “Tell me. You need to say the words out loud or you’ll never be free of them.”

  Grace watched as Max swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the action. “He told me everything he did to her, detail by detail, laughing as if it were a very funny joke. That was bad enough, but then he gave me her ear. He’d kept it all this time, and it still had the earring in it that my parents had given her for her birthday. It was remarkably preserved, actually. It was a trophy.”

  Tears filled his eyes and Grace wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his chest. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

  “So, for me, sex kept those demons at bay, at least in the moment, and I had to have those moments. I needed a reprieve from the memories and the nightmares, and it was either whisky or women. When there weren’t enough women, I could always find whisky.”

  Grace pulled back, raising an eyebrow. “So does that mean you’ve been drinking yourself stupid since we met?”

  Max shook his head. “Stone cold sober, love. I had a couple of drinks the night you didn’t show for the concert. I would have had more, but Niall removed the bottle from my room. I did have a few the night of Kinnon’s funeral, but other than that, nothing.”

  “Do you…um…are you okay about that?”

  “Do you mean, do I blame you for the fact that I don’t want to sleep with anyone other than you, and don’t seem to have the desire to drink?”

  Grace bit her lip and nodded.

  Max shifted, pulling her onto his lap and kissing her. Grace sighed, unable to do anything but wrap her arms around his neck. When he finally broke the kiss, she was gasping for breath.

  “I love you, Grace,” Max said. “I know you can’t comprehend the depth of that love right now, but I could never resent you for making me a better man.”

  “I don’t want to change you, Max. I want you to be the best you can be, but I do worry that we’ll be bad for each other.” She slid her fingers through his hair. “I don’t want a project, and I don’t think you deserve to feel as though you are one.”

  Max chuckled. “I get it. But we’re going to change each other just by being together, and I’m okay with
that. I look forward to it. I’ll make you a promise, eh?”

  She nodded.

  “Josh and I are going to meet again next week—”

  “You are?” she interrupted.

  “Yes. I really like him. He’s not like any other priests or pastors I’ve ever met.”